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We are upon a new year yet again. All the hustle and bustle of the holidays are coming to a close and, as I can say for myself and not anyone else, I sit back and reflect on all the money I spent coming to close out the year to have to start it all over again for the next. I also think about all that I will want to accomplish in the new year and all lessons learned that could help me to accomplish those goals in some way. Also, about how much I want to change and “do it all differently” and that the start of the new year will be the best time to do it. Why the start of the new year when I had so many opportunities yesterday, the day before, or even January 1st, 2024 to utilize all the opportunities that I did not quite get a chance to use? I did not get a chance to use these opportunities because I was still battling all the “agreements” from past years that continue to follow me into future years. They seem to put a stop for me in truly utilizing all these opportunities as what they truly were; opportunities. I battle my mind of all the things that could go wrong if I try this, the things that could be misconstrued if I say this, or better yet, why I could not make this opportunity work and am I truly capable of making it work? Time also being the biggest factor to confront. Time, that factor that hinders it all. Doubt, also being another contributor that hinders, as well as lies and excuses because it is so easy to fall into these habits and keep them hanging around because they feel familiar. But anything outside of the familiar, truthfully feels, odd, different and overall, uncomfortable.
I have learned over the past couple of months that these are all agreements that we have voluntarily or involuntarily learned that can live in every second of our days, which most times, hinder our abilities to see, feel, and experience anything differently. If you think about it and actually reflect on all the ways these “agreements” have gotten in the way of that promotion, stopped an opportunity to just say no, or stopped you from experiencing life’s treasures, it would create true questions of how much have I slighted myself because of what I allowed my brain to believe as opposed to providing permission to myself to believe something different; something outside of the “norm.”
In our practice, we focus on rooting. We work to address the root cause of issues experienced to try to resolve, or to help to mitigate, these issues. Most times going into the new year, we start with goals and or resolutions. Most times, we do not maintain these resolutions due to many inconsistencies (thought patterns, our own belief systems, catastrophizing, supports, motivations, etc.). Whatever we are up against in not maintaining the goals/ resolutions, we will need to truly tap in emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to be able to try to truly address the roots that we could be possibly overlooking that are causing these inconsistencies in our ability to maintain certain behaviors. For example, we resolve that we will make time to workout and do it consistently everyday from January 1st on. What could pop up possibly is our own belief systems/ agreements. Do we truly believe we deserve that much time to put into ourselves? Can we devote that much time to ourselves, if we do not then we failed so no need to continue, and am I even deserving of this level of care for myself? Our brain’s belief system and our language development can both be creators and destroyers of things we set as goals in hopes to resolute. In order to able to set these goals and resolutions, we must first address our belief systems and language utilized for these agreements we have adopted that restrict and or grow our abilities. By addressing these restrictions, we can unbind our mind’s ability so that we can create agreements that can enlarge and liberate our abilities. By also analyzing the ways in which we allow ourselves to grow our abilities, we can use those as points of references to help to unbind these areas of restrictions. Whether that is to be the best gym goer we can be or to believe we are deserving of all things good, or for all this to happen we must normalize our ability to treat ourselves well and to prioritize these unfamiliar behaviors as if it were life itself.
So, I ask that instead of making resolutions and or goals for the sake of the new year approaching, I ask that rather we reflect on all the agreements that we have adopted that handicaps/cramps our abilities to expound and grow exponentially. Reflect on those indirect and direct agreements that constantly pop up and steals joy, happiness, and our potential for success. By addressing these agreements head on, I can only hope that we can free ourselves from the bondage that limits our abilities on many different dynamics. Let us not allow these hinderances to take over your life. Rather, tackle and do your best to remove them with practiced daily effort.
**FRAMING AND REFRAMING IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR CHANGE.
Book of reference/Acknowledgements: The Four Agreements written by Don Miguel Ruiz. This is a great resource to help you to identify these adopted agreements, the impact of those agreements, and how to work to free yourself of their negative impacts.